Where is my phone and my hat?

     The days I worked at Trivandrum Cancer Center flashed by. Before I knew it it was the last day and I was so sad. I brought some American chocolates and perfumes for the people I worked with and took pics with them. The pharmacist said that he just wanted me to teach him how to tie a tie, so I brought one of mine and showed him.

    The last day all the social workers demanded that I showed them all the tricks I learned to entertain the kids while I was there otherwise they would be so bored. So I showed them all how to make all kinds of things like dogs,chickens, crow, flapping bird, frog etc. and a couple of magic tricks, not that they were any good :) Then I did my last work routine around the hospital. Some of the kids had received there chemo and left by this point, but there was still about 4 that I saw from the first day. Najila, the girl who I gave a snowflake was very sad that I was leaving and said I had to play the harmonica for her. I did, then when I was about to leave, I realized that my phone, my hat, my harmonica case, and papers were all missing. One of the moms said the kids somehow found my stuff and stashed it around so that I couldn't leave :'( I played along and searched for all my things with the kids giggling and when I finally got the last thing, 3 kids latched onto my legs and literally were hanging on my pants, crying lol. I picked each of them up one by one and promised them that I would see them again and to keep smiling and loving their parents. I smiled and waved at each of them and the rest of the pediatric ward knowing it was very unlikely to actually see those kids again. The main doctor said that she would extend my plane ticket if I stayed. Her name was Dr. Kusamum, which meant flower. I made a giant flower and we all signed it to put in her office.

     Thinking back over this experience, I do not think it was the origami, harmonica, or magic tricks that these kids and their families loved so much. It was the fact that someone was there-- other than nurses and doctors. Someone that did not represent their time at the hospital, someone with who they felt normal. I hope this blog and many of the experiences I have shared lead more volunteers to go where they feel needs help. I cannot explain how much it opens your eyes. I am trying to set up a couple things up to ease the chemotherapy process in RCC Trivandrum and will update on how it goes. 

Chetta

     The first couple of days that I went to the hospital the kids were usually slightly shy or would look towards their mom. By the end of the week, as soon as I walked into the pediatric ward there would be atleast 20 little heads that pop up from their beds and beckon me to come over. Many of them called me Chetta, which means brother.

      I wanted to switch up the activities with the kids so I went out to a local store and bought a Harmonica and deck of cards. I learned a bunch of simple songs like "Jingle Bells, Amazing Grace, Jazz Riffs, Payphone, and Stay With Me." Luckily I had visited one of my cousins and he gave me an awesome grey fedora, which was perfect for the magic tricks and harmonica songs I would play. The nurses wipe the floors three times: morning,afternoon, and night. I went to the ward in the morning while the floor was still wet and slid around playing the harmonica to kids at each bed. They really got a kick out of that. The only song they recognized was Jingle Bells, so that was inevitably a favorite hahah. One boy name Epson would make me teach him magic tricks while his mom was sleeping after lunch so that when she woke up, he could wow her. While vising beds the moms would ask about my life in America and I would show them my Facebook or Instagram. They would point at the phone and comment and smile to all the photos on there. I made friends with all the staff, patients, and doctors. The doctors and nurses would satisfy my medical interests by explaining the drugs and what each case scenario was. Majority of the cases was blood cancer, which unfortunately had very low survival rates. One pharmacist even took me "behind the scenes" and showed me how to dilute and distribute chemo drugs! I took a selfie bc it was awesome. I had a steady routine in the hospital there now.

OutPatient

      Since chemotherapy is a long process I would see a lot of reappearing faces holding a craft that I had given them. Until this time, I had worked in the testing room and IP ( in-patient rooms) seeing about 80 total people a day. Some kids stayed outside the hospital and come back for testing every once and a while, call OP (outpatients). These people wait just outside the pediatric ward, and there are many of them ~100.

      I learned many types of origami to keep the kids minds off their situation as long as possible. The OP was probably the most hectic time of the day for me.  My supervisor said if I could handle all the attention, then I could go there every morning. There was no lack of attention for sure lol. 1) I looked different than everyone else 2) I dressed different 3) People are curious why I have all these craft stuff. The staff set up a table for me and I brought out all these papers crayons and stuff. I beckoned for a couple kids to come over and I started. When I looked up again there were so many smiling faces around my table I could not see the walls. I felt like I had to say something since there were so many people hahah so I spoke my heavily accented Malayalam, explaining why I was there. That brought even more smiling faces bc people were like "He has accent, heheh, keep speaking please, we like it." It was a perfect Panorama moment on my Iphone but there were kids all over me and my phone was deep in my pocket so I got one of my supervisor people to take a photo. Then I took a Panorama after an hour when the crowd died down and there were just kids left. I made flapping birds, pronounced whatever words they wanted me to say, and made huge flowers. They were very happy and so was I. I changed my schedule to go to testing room first thing in morning, then OP, then IP. This meant I was seeing like 130+ people a day, which was awesome!

     One of the most memorable encounters had to be a small boy and his mother. When I arrived to their bed, the mom was very stoic. I tried all kinds of things and they both were still stone-face, understandably. This little boy had been hooked up to every possible medical machine and had nurses always coming to him. I talked with them and asked how everything was. I finished my origami jumping frog and told the boy to put out his hands. I placed the frog in his hands then tapped the back of the frog. It jumped and soared straight onto his nose. The boy cracked a small smile and when I did it again he burst into laughter. It was the most satisfying thing. I looked up to catch the mom moving away quickly to the side of the bed and sob. I felt like it was inappropriate for me to stay any longer so I left. Another mom came up to me and said that the woman was sobbing bc that was the first time her boy had smiled in weeks, literally.
   

   

Origami Crazy

        That night I surfed the super-slow internet thoroughly for how to engage kids in activities. I stumbled upon origami videos and realized this was an easy,cheap way to shift the patients minds from chemo to crafts.
        The next morning, I walked into the hospital equipped with my new-found origami knowledge of making jumping frogs and little bunnies. Every morning parents would bring their children to a room around 15 by 18 ft, but not an inch of that space was seen due to the rush of morning tests. Children would be brought here to receive blood pressure and blood count tests. The little kids would start screaming and crying as soon as they laid eyes on the nurses with needles. I had a small plastic chair near the middle of this room and decided to start making frogs and bunnies out of paper in efforts to distract some of the kids. I would fold the square papers as quick as I could, draw eyes and noses, then turn and give the craft to whoever was near by. At first, the screams were replaced by momentary coos and awes from the young kids seeing the simple jumping frog. However, at this point I had only made about 3 frogs and then there was even more commotion than before! Kids started screaming so loud in Malayalam, "Enikka thavala vanum!"--translation "I want frog!." The nurses looked up surprised that the kids were screaming louder and laughed at my situation. I usually take a moment to appreciate the irony of situations but the clamor forced me to start making frogs at a furious pace in order to stop the second set of screams lol. In the small crammed room, there was now children on my lap, on the table, mothers making sure their kid got one so I just folded fast. Basically just, Smile, Fold,Draw,Give, in like 30 secs, rinse,repeat. In the speed I accidentally folded the wrong way and made a car which made some little boys happy hahah. As the crowd died down, I glanced over to my paper stack and realized it was finished--i went through like 75 papers, not even realizing the time go by. I left the small room to go check up on other patients and I was surprised to see parents and little kids waving the little crafts at me to say thanks. To see that many people smile for such a simple gift warmed by heart.

I got too caught up in the commotion and did not take pics that day, sorry lol. 

But im not an artist doeee......

      That morning I put on some khakis and a nice linen shirt, ate breakfast, and hopped in the car. Our driver took me to the hospital where I unsuccessfully attempted to enter. Two burly Indian officers beckoned for me to wait by the side door among the frenzy of people entering the hospital until someone verified that I was legit lol (rough translation). I called Mr. Pilai, one of the hospital's social-workers, who appeared at the entrance within minutes, waving away the guards and smiling to reassure them that I was no threat. Until then I was mentally complaining about how busy it was.....but man... the rush inside was at least twice that of outside.
      As the doors to the hospital opened, cool air brushed my face and infiltrated my nostrils--leaving scents of disinfectant spray and unfortunate sick aromas (your mind can wander). There was also loud commotion due to the frequent announcements over intercom and sheer amount of people.  In fact, there are so many people it is impossible to move quickly through the halls with bumping shoulders, mostly people just jostle along until reaching there destination. It would be disorienting for someone used to Vidant to say the least but I was kind of frightened and excited by the chaos at the same time. Mr. Pilai pulled me aside from the crowd and introduced himself to me with a very genuine smile you'd imagine for a social worker. I turned to wave goodbye to my grandparents through the windows. Then, Mr, Pilai took off and said to simply follow him. I swear this man had moves like jagger-- just skating along the crowd barely brushing the shoulders of patients and families. In contrast, I waddled through the crowd as fast as I could. We skirted a couple hallways and descended a flight of stairs and arrived at the pediatric oncology. I was introduced to the social team I would be a part of: Lidiya, Deepa, and Radhika, all females at least 10 years older than me.
      This introduction was one of those moments where you wish your family had been more honest with you. My parents told me that my Malayalam, the Indian language I speak (btw there is no language called "Indian"), was perfectly understandable. However, they did not mention the huge accent I apparently had. After speaking my first couple sentences in Malayalam to my fellow workers they all turned to each other, repeated the phrases I used then laughed. I would have blushed if I could. I quickly re-phrased two or three more times only to be repeated again--oh so embarrassing lol. A comparison would be like the green alien toys from Toy Story that repeated everything in amazement or the little yellow minions from Despicable Me that would repeat words and giggle uncontrollably. I resorted to the universal language of smiling for the next couple of minutes. Then Lidiya grabbed my hand and said it was time to get to work.
      Before entering the pediatric ward for the first time, questions raced through my head: How bad will it be in there? Will I be able to adjust? Is there A/C? What could I say to comfort them? Will they even understand me considering the recent language fiasco? The large  room we entered had beds lined in rows with a child and one parent together. The room had paintings of Disney characters on the wall and many fans attached to the ceiling. But the beds--more importantly the very sick children in the beds--consumed my attention. In some beds kids lay there, mothers watching them with tired, forlorn expressions while in others the mothers lay beside their child tightly holding on to them. The ages of children ranged from infants to 14 years but all looked much younger than their age due to severe hair and weight loss. My stomach tumbled for a minute, but my first thought was that this was an unfortunate environment and I wanted to make these patients forget where they were. Forget why they were attached to many wires and medicinal pouched. Forget the unfortunate prognosis of their disease. But how? I knew that nothing could completely free them of worry, but anything would help.
     Then, detaching me from my train of thought, a heavy stack of paper, unsharpened pencils, crayon boxes, erasers, and pencil sharpeners were thrust into my arms. I snapped out of my thoughts in time to see Lidiya make a circle in the air gesturing that I was to entertain them. There were 38 bed patients and I was equipped with unsharpened pencils, paper, and my heavily accented language. I looked at the paper crayons and pencils and was just like But im not an artist doee.....what do I do with this I thought to myself. I walked to the nearest bed and introduced myself. Both the mom and little boy were very sad with no change in expression. I nervously looked to my paper and realized I couldn't draw at all. So I drew the boy' s name in cool bubble letters and let him decorate it. Still, no smile, whew this was getting so awkward that my face hurt. I leaped to the next bed wishing to be freed from that fail of an encounter. I beamed a smile at the new mother and daughter and asked for the daughter's name. She said "Pavithra" and I heard "Pavika"--which is a bitter vegetable. I said " Oh! Pavika?! I like that name!" She put a hand to her mouth looked to her mom then laughed. This would be like someone introducing herself to you as "Patricia" and you saying "Oh! Potato?! I like that name!" Luckily, Lidiya had come back for something and justified my mistake by smiling and telling them that I was a white guy, which is not true obviously lol. One could say I stumbled through the remaining 36 beds trying to help however I could assisting nurses, drawing mediocre art, and learning names. At one bed there was a kid who was actually very excited to meet me. I pronounced her name properly! She said she wanted me to make something pretty and I was like oh man. I scoured my brain for any crafts I could remember and realized I knew how to make a snowflake! Happy that I could make something, I snipped away while the little girl, Najila, carefully watched my every move. She and I colored the snowflake and she clutched the finished product to her chest with a huge smile. Ah, at least something went right. Snowflakes in South India, I guess anything is possible :) Leaving the hospital after my first day I thought that if a snowflake exists in South India then I can find a way to aid those kids and mothers somehow...

Landed in Trivandrum (My Brown Town)

I landed in India and walked through customs with ease. Huge grin pasted on my face, I threw deuces to all the airport security and people. Ahead of me was my grandfather who was carefully and forcefully tapping his smartphone (he likes to manage his business from the phone bc it "makes him seem young"). I dropped all my luggage and received a huge bear hug from my grandpa. Every time my grandpa sees something awesome or is excited about something he will go "OH OH OH." Imagine santa claus saying his thing backwards and you will have an exact idea of what I'm talking about! Hearing my grandpa's excitement and getting a hug was more than heartwarming (his pic below, i'll snag one of my grandma soon!). I followed him to the car and we hopped right into India traffic. OH GOD Indian traffic, you people have see nothing. Just youtube indian traffic and every other traffic seems better. Even though I've experienced it many times, I gripped the seat--knuckles white-- till we arrived at home. My grandma greeted us at the door and said she is going to make me gain weight while I am there (her form of entertainment while I'm there lol). We talked and ate and talked and ate, and many family members came to say hi. Too discombobulated  from all my travel, I didn't notice my grandma keep refilling my plate every time I greeted a family member. I would look down and be like "I swear I just ate that" and smile realizing what happened when I looked over and saw my grandma trying to keep a nonchalant face. By this time it was noon and Jet Lag hit me like a fist. I didn't want to sleep at noon bc then I I'd stay up at night. I quickly solved this problem by realizing "bruh i'm tired, I will just sleep today day and night." i slept from noon to 9pm (from travel fatigue), woke up ate, slept from 9:30pm to 5:30am (to get used to indian schedule). I woke up and was burning, how is it hot in there morning I asked myself? The sun's not even up yet....lol. I put on the fan full speed and unpacked all my luggage organizing everything nicely in preparation for the my "orientation" at the Regional Cancer Center. So  I have found solution to Jet Lag and arrived safely in brown town ready to go, so far so good :)

Plane Buddies

Walking through the Dulles Airport in Washington at 7:00 am, I asked myself the age-old question, "Man, what should I eat?" Except this time, I would have to live with the answer to that question for another two weeks while abroad in India. I strolled through the different airport gates imagining different restaurants being my last meal. Ideally, a cook-out tray would have been great (Yes, I'm willing to eat cook-out even at 7 am in the morning) but I settled for a good ol' bagel from Dunkin' Doughnuts and walked over the plane departure area. When I arrived to the plane area I realized that I had not accounted for one thing...this flight was going to be 12.5 hours long: I NEEDED A PLANE BUDDY! I quickly surveyed the departure seating area for someone interesting and my eyes fell upon a pretty girl taking notes in a book. Smart + pretty usually equals interesting to me so I sauntered over there. Luckily for me there was one seat empty on her left side from which I dropped the smoothest line of our teenage generation, "Do you know the Wi-fi?" She looked up from her book and said that she had no idea but wish she knew as well--Mina was an 18yr old persian with long black hair, sparkling eyes, and a sharp stereotypical middle-eastern nose. She also happened to be a powerlifter. Realizing that Mina was an ideal plane buddy and could double as a bodyguard with her powerlifting skills, I invited her to sit next to me on the long flight. With twelve hours ahead of us, we started talking about everything. We made lists about what we would miss from America, what we were looking forward to seeing in our countries, I told her about the time I rode an elephant, talked prom, college, airplane food, books, and watched loads of crappy movies together on the airplane entertainment system. Honestly, time really did fly (no pun intended :) but it works) with a good friend to share it with and before we knew it the pilot announced "WE HAVE NOW REACHED IN DUBAI!" Mina and I exchanged WhatsApp and Viber....(a couple asian communication apps) and then parted ways. I stayed in Dubai for a day then caught my next flight that night to head for India. I was sad to split paths with my plane buddy, but I knew there were many more friends to come :D All in all it was a great plane ride and I am now here in India!

-Reuben Chemmanam



P.S.   Sorry it took a couple days to start up the blog, there were some internet issues at my India house! But now everything is good and I hope you all stayed tuned for more adventures abroad!!